When I begin composing most of my posts, I have a general idea of what I want to communicate. There might be issues figuring out how, but after a while things seem to come together. Not this time. How do I even begin writing on sexuality in the 21st century?
It is easy to start with predefined conclusions and work backwards to justify what we want to be true. I have a tendency to do that a lot. After all, don’t I already know what I think? And of course, what I think is right. Actually, not so much. In this article, I’m going to attempt a different approach. I’ll start with uncontested facts (if there are such things), and then do my best to carefully use logic and work forward. Let’s see where this brings us. Maybe, concerning this difficult topic, it is possible to find common ground. With this in mind, let’s get started.
First set of facts: Ancient Greco-Roman Sexuality
Why should we consider sexuality in the Greco-Roman, pre-Christian world? The answer: It could help us to contextualize Paul’s New Testament letters.
Rome was a slave and class-based society. Legal rights were tied to social status. This being said, there are some generalities that can be stated. Romans did not think in terms of same sex attraction. That would have been considered to be an irrelevant concept. Instead, sexuality was defined in terms of dominance. To be dominant was masculine; to be passive was feminine. Prostitution was legal and widespread, and there were prostitutes of both genders. Same sex marriage took place, but it had no legal recognition. It is said for example, that the emperor Nero married a male servant after his wife died.
Regarding rights and protections, let’s start first with the lowest rank of society and work upwards. Slaves, being property, had no rights. Their overlords could force them to have sex, whether male or female, child or adult. There were no age restrictions. Some aristocrats were known to castrate young boys so they would not grow up to be men, and therefore forever be available for sexual use. Slaves could be beaten with impunity and even tortured. They could marry, but their offspring enhanced the estate of their masters. This being said, not all, or even the majority, of slave owners acted with such disregard. Furthermore, there were ethnic sections of large cities with degrees of self-rule. In those areas, Roman standards might not fully apply.
Soldiers were unmarried when they enlisted, but were not expected to be celibate. They could engage slaves, prostitutes of either sex, and defeated combatants. Sex with captured militants was not for pleasure; its purpose was to humiliate and to show dominance. Sex among soldiers was a violation of military discipline. The penalty was death by clubbing.
The upper classes had legal protections. Boys wore special togas and necklaces to indicate that they were off limits. Forced sex on another person of equal rank was considered rape and was a capital offence. Freedmen could have sex with men or boys of lower rank as long as they played the dominant role.
There was an expectation of virtue among the aristocracy. Noblemen were expected to keep their sexual predispositions in check. If they did not, they were considered unfit to govern others. Marriage was encouraged and expected. Adultery was forbidden. For men, though, this did not carry a modern meaning. Engaging in sexual activities when their wives were not available was permissible. For women, the rules were more stringent. Any extra marital activity was taboo. If a woman strayed, Roman law, at some periods of history, required divorce; forgiveness was not an option. If a person of rank became a prostitute, they lost their legal protections for life.
Second set of facts: Early Church Tenets
How did first century Christians navigate the Roman world? This can be relevant in our present post-Christian environment. There are surviving ancient documents, the best of which in my view is the Didache (Greek word meaning teaching). Scholars date its composure to the first century AD, a time when our New Testament was not yet readily available. Its purpose was to instruct new Christian converts. One could say that the Didache was the first Christian catechism (training manual). It was written for believers, not for the wider non-Christian population. It was so popular in the early centuries, that some church fathers supported its inclusion in the finalized New Testament canon. Its full text is available online.
The Didache’s first chapter defines the way of life, the way of death, and a number of additional things to avoid. This section of the document when printed comes to three type-written pages. They are easy to follow and generally are as applicable today as they were then.
The way of life includes the following commands relating to sexuality:
You shall not commit adultery
The way of death enumerates adultery, men having sex with boys, and promiscuity. There are warnings against lustful desires, foul speech, and wandering eyes because of where these things lead.
Third set of facts: Current Realities
I think it is safe to say that we live in a sexualized society. Why? Sex sells. The media bombards us daily with market tested messages from advertisements, movies, TV, radio, and the Internet. Even primary school education seems to have sexual agendas. Unless we move into a cave, these things cannot be avoided. The result: increasing numbers suffer from sexual addictions. Depression, feelings of inadequacy, and suicide rates are on the rise. At the same time, there is a general intolerance towards those who refuse to immediately conform to shifting mores.
Fifty years ago, there was a social consensus universally understood and accepted. Few couples lived together outside of marriage. An overwhelming majority of households with children had fathers present. Most married couples somehow managed to stay together. Pornography existed, to be sure, but it was far less accessible than it is now.
On the other hand, women had little recourse when they lived in abusive relationships. Few went to college and job opportunities were scant. Those with same sex preferences hid within their personal closets. Sexual abuse was widespread but largely covered over and ignored.
The record is mixed. Then was not utopia, and now is not progressing towards an imagined ideal. Each new generation eliminates some past deficiencies, but then creates new ones of their own.
Fourth set of facts: What does the Bible say?
I wouldn’t expect Paul to be thinking in terms of modern sensibilities as he composed his letters. As I reflect on his Greco-Roman world, questions come to mind. When using the word, “effeminate,” was he referring to male prostitution? When speaking of homosexuality, might he have meant persons forcing themselves on others to show dominance? The Greek word Paul uses is arsenokoitās (literally meaning “man laid out”). This term is unknown in first century extra biblical literature. The point here is that in context, reasonable people can interpret these kinds of verses in different ways.
Consider the following verses from Romans chapter 1:
For this reason, God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. (Rom 1: 25-27)
It is apparent that these verses do not deal with committed single-partner relationships. They are referring to overt practices where anything goes without limitation. When that happens, sexuality degrades from its intended purpose, and this leads inevitably to emotional pain and sometimes disease. I’m particularly drawn to the phrase, “God gave them up” It is good advice to be careful about what we obsess over and to which we can ultimately become enslaved. Opening the door to evil of any kind undoubtedly will lead us downward. Paul has a warning that speaks directly to this issue:
All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be enslaved by anything (1 cor. 6:12).
At any rate, in this article, I am not going to focus on the above text from Romans. I prefer instead to work with concepts that I think most Christians can agree with. In our polarized culture, is it possible to find common ground?
In Genesis, we have the verses:
Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Gen. 2:24-25)
For me, these verses present the ideal envisioned by God. Men and women marry to establish stable and safe loving relationships in which to raise families. The children benefit from the best of both genders. Once joined, couples remain together for life. Sex is a gift from God. It is intended for life-long partners working through loving committed relationships.
I think most would agree that adultery is equally wrong for both men and women. It damages the relationship and destroys trust, sometimes beyond repair. If it leads to divorce, the effects upon children often last a lifetime.
Biblical principles challenge aspects of modern culture. We are created in God’s image. This means that every person has a unique and special value. Therefore, pornography is wrong. Why? Besides substituting the artificial for the real, it shows a disregard towards those being filmed. It promotes sex trafficking since the money paid frequently contributes to this kind of activity. Pornography leads to sexual addiction and also to immorality. Sometimes it destroys marriages. Using the language of the Didache, it promotes lustful desires and wandering eyes.
Every sexual engagement involves an intimacy that we should not take lightly. If such an activity is pursued solely for pleasure, it objectifies the other person. This means that pick-up sex clubs, homosexual or heterosexual, are wrong. I’ve heard testimonies from former addicts that have had encounters with more than a thousand partners. I can’t even imagine how this can be possible.
Minors need to be protected. They are unprepared and unable to handle the emotional implications of early sexual activities. Children need to be allowed to be children. The time will come soon enough for them to navigate life for themselves. The Church has a lot to account for on this issue. Abuse by priests, pastors, and youth leaders has been covered over, and this has harmed uncountable numbers over the last century. The Church needs to clean up its own act before dictating to others.
How do we tie all of this together?
Even critics of Christian morality would have to agree that it is an improvement over the ethics of Rome. The elimination of the class system was certainly a major step forward. Paul’s statement speaks loudly:
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Gal 3:28)
The purpose of the Didache is revealing. It was written to provide a standard by which fellow believers could hold each other accountable. It was not meant to be used as a weapon to judge the wider population. That would only have closed doors and destroyed relationships. This first century document dealt with immorality, but it did not directly address homosexuality in the modern sense. Perhaps its edicts are sufficient for our time as well.
There is no doubt that standards of morality have changed in the last 50 years. Virtually every standard has been challenged, and lots of fences have been torn down. No one yet knows how to project the long-term impacts of this evolution. Before we Christians bend to worldly pressure, there is a well-known quote that I think we would be wise to consider.
Don’t ever take a fence down until you know the reason why it was put up. (G. K. Chesterton)
I’ll conclude by addressing those who might have a sexual past that is less than ideal. We all fall short, albeit in different ways. Jesus came as the Great Physician. Healing is available to all, and we all need it. As Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery: “Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more (John 8:11).”
Thanks for listening,secondlooknow.com
Hi Dan,
Certainly insight-full and applicable…and easily read and understandable…NOT preachy…Not condemning…..and offers perspectives and, Mercy,
What a hard topic to address, but you have done an excellent job.
“…what I think is right.”
Whew!
If Dan has convinced you to move into a cave, be aware that Obadiah is arranging to food delivery to the Misliya Cave just outside Megiddo, but that chapter is still in rough draft.
http://elijahblog.com/bubblers-to-cave/
Well said, Dan.
I learned a lot about NT society in this article. Thank you.
Good description of today’s options.