2020 certainly has been a crazy year. It was marked by protests, riots, plague, and political division. This was topped off with wildfires in Australia, California, Oregon, and now in Colorado. This hits me personally. Stacy, my neighbor across the street lost her home. Robert, to the left has nothing left. Two more homes a few properties away are gone as well.
It makes me wonder. Why was my home spared? The blaze seemed to dance randomly from place to place. Many were fervently praying for us after the evacuation. Could that be why? Viv and I are grateful. We directly felt the effects of those petitions and feel very blessed. Yet, I’m a bit reluctant to talk publicly about this. Why, you might ask? I remember a time when a member of our church put up his home for sale. It sold within a couple of weeks. At that time, I had my house for sale as well. It failed to sell for months and months. I was happy for my friend, but couldn’t help thinking, “What about me, Lord?” Because of this, I try to mourn with those who suffered loss and be available to offer whatever semblance of help that I can provide.
While we were housed by the Red Cross. a number of fellow victims shared their experiences. There was Rubin. His home went up in smoke in North Carolina. So, he decided to move back to his home town here. Two months after settling in, he faced another tragedy. Everything was destroyed for the second time.
Then there was Rachel. Her mom lived in a trailer park. She had just made her last payment to own it outright. Nothing remains. In that same trailer park, half did not have insurance. The older trailers were too great a risk. Insurance companies did not want to get involved. Will FEMA disaster relief come to the rescue? I hope so. In this time of grief, it is amazing to me how most of my neighbors are trying to put a good face on the situation. Human beings are very resilient, at least in the short term. The magnitude of their losses takes time to sink in.
The year 2020 commenced with news of Australia ablaze. Thousands of homes were wiped out and dozens of lives lost. Estimates report that nearly three billion animals were killed. I can’t even comprehend a number that large. At the time, I seem to remember thinking, “That’s terrible.” I might even have uttered a short prayer. “God have mercy on those poor people. Send them help.” But then, I went about my day-to-day activities and didn’t give it a second thought.
Next came California. I thought, “This seems to happen every year. Can’t something be done?” I went about my business and largely forgot about it. I felt safe. We live on the coast. With 40 to 60 inches of rain each year, fires don’t come here.
But then, the wildfires quickly spread to my state. I thought: “It’s getting close.” I used to live in Phoenix, Oregon and have friends there. I’m told that the house where I lived remains, but the next block over is completely demolished. There was not much time to reflect. A day or so later, an electrical malfunction led to the Echo Mountain Complex fire. I still thought that we would be okay. It was five miles away. Unfortunately, high winds moved it along fast.
It was six AM. I woke up to a loud, persistent pounding at the front door. When I stumbled to the door, a firefighter stood before me. He was firm. “The fire just crossed Hwy 18; its coming right at you. Get prepared to evacuate. It is less than a mile away.” In the days that followed, I twice relived that encounter in vivid dreams. We had a half-hour to gather our two cats, important papers, computers, and cell phones. There was no time for anything else. Then suddenly, a loudspeaker roared from outside. “Leave now!” And so, we did. Our neighbor Stacy was still gathering her rescue animals at that point. When she left, she tells us: “Huge flames were flying across your backyard. Embers like missiles were pounding Robert’s house (our neighbor to the left).” Some of her animals couldn’t be found in time. They had to go.
What do I conclude from all of this? Life presents us with an illusion of stability. We get up each day and live it largely as we did the day before. We work, save money, buy things, and share time with those nearby. Everything seems normal. We fully depend on institutions like banks, local businesses, and government services. TV, Internet, and cell phones provide connectivity that seems eternal. But then, in a single day everything can change. Life unravels. Everything turns on its head. Order is replaced by chaos.
When Job faced his problems, he shouted, “I’m innocent! This isn’t fair! God, I plead my case. Why? Why? Why? Answer me!” There were no answers coming. He missed the point. His experience thrusts a dagger into an ancient concept. People, then and now, have a transactional relationship with their God. They give their allegiance, and in return, they expect immediate blessings and protection. “God, I do X for you; you do Y for me.”
The symbiotic understanding falls apart for a number of reasons. First, it doesn’t work. We all experience difficulties and loss, and this is independent of belief. The vast number of people who donate to Christian preachers do not receive 100-fold in return. Second, it leads to a judgmental attitude. Super spiritual people point the finger, just as Job’s friends did. “You must have sinned. You lack faith. It is your fault.” Third, it causes us to hide our grief and put on a smiley face. How can we share our pain if we are only going to be condemned for it? Can we trust our friends to be there for us? In Job’s case, the answer was no. His friends were fine as long as he was silent. When Job began to speak, he was met by their charges against him. They thought, “Who is right? Is it Job or God?” God needed defending. Actually, they were defending their concept of who they thought he was. They never considered that just maybe, their understandings could be wrong. Who among us needs this kind of support in times of trouble?
Job passed the test. He argued. He was angry. He grumbled. Yet, God did not hold any of this against him. He kept his faith. Though Jesus says: “In the world you will have tribulation,” he also affirms: “But take heart; I have overcome the world.” Yeah, I know. He was talking about religious persecution. But can’t the same promise apply to any kind of trauma? God walks with us through life’s deepest valleys. That is something that we can hold onto, even in the darkest times.
It all comes down to trust. Can we trust God even at the times where it is hardest to do so? It causes me to ask myself, “Why do I believe?” Is it because of immediate expected benefits? If I lost everything, would I still trust? I was spared significant loss in this recent fire. Nevertheless, it causes me to question: “What if I was not so fortunate?” How would I have reacted then? I hope that I would have been able to say: “God, I don’t understand. I don’t like what is happening. I hate this. Yet, I still believe that you are Good. I still believe that you will walk with me through this tragedy.”
I think that it is helpful for us to occasionally break out of our comfort zone and ask these kinds of questions. It might even help us to be thankful, and not take for granted the many blessings that we have when times are good.
Thanks for listening,secondlooknow.com
Though He slay me, yet will I praise Him. Thanks for writing, Dan.
The most real thing I’ve read in a while.
Thanks very much for this, Dan.
Dan, I like how you show us the whole story developing step by step.
It helps me feel I’m there with you as it happens.
As a result, I was able to hear and appreciate your conclusions.
Job and his friends were under the false assumption that God’s rule of the Universe and our lives was driven only by Justice. But it wasn’t. It was Wisdom by which God ruled all things, and this Wisfom, unlike the Wisdom of Proverbs, that was beyond human reach. In our trials, we must remember the wisdom from a favorite song of mine:
“Do you have the faith to let God be God?
That is the question.
Not a question of outcome, but a question of trust.
For He is truly God, and you are but dust.”
I loved your post. Really looking forward to read more. Really Great. Klarrisa Oliviero Maryanna